Sheryl Sandberg and Tom Bernthal.Photo: Amy & Stuart Photography
The holiday season isn’t all tinsel and Christmas carols — for many, especially those dealing with loss, it can be a lonely, difficult stretch.
“I don’t think people realize that after there’s tragedy…someone saying, ‘Happy holidays!’ is actually pretty painful,”Sheryl Sandbergtells PEOPLE. “I think people are afraid of acknowledging when something’s hard.”
The Facebook COO, 51, would know — thedeath of her husband Dave in 2015helped open her eyes to the importance of acknowledging the pain and hardship others have been dealt, a lesson that’s particularly relevant in 2020.
“If it’s six years later and you say to me, ‘I’m sorry for your loss,’ I’m not like, ‘Oh, I forgot Dave died. How dare you remind me?’” she says. “Anyone who’s suffered loss this holiday is going to have a different holiday, because of someone missing. A lot of people haven’t seen their parents in a year, haven’t seen their brothers in a year. People are really lonely.”
Sheryl Sandberg and Tom Bernthal.Tom Bernthal
Sixty-two percent of respondents said they gave more support in 2020 than they have in years’ past, while a majority (seven in 10 people) said they feel as though they’re more resilient and better equipped to face new challenges because of 2020’s hardships.
For Sandberg herself, she says she’s used 2020 as time to “come together” as a family withfiancé Tom Bernthal, her two kids and his three children.
“They moved in overnight when the school shut down,” says Sandberg. “We had a death in the family early on. Tom’s cousin died of COVID, and that was devastating."
Though the couple is putting theirwedding plans on pauseamid the pandemic, “The silver linings are we became a family during this time.”
Although it can feel difficult to “give yourself permission” to find silver linings during such hard times, the tech executive says it’s extremely important to do so.
To help show up for others, Option B has issued aseries of heartwarming cardsthat people can send to their loved ones that celebrate things like small victories and human connection in the time of COVID.
Option B holiday cards.Emily McDowell Studio for Option B There
The initiative also encourages people to switch up their holiday greetings to something more sincere and meaningful than “happy holidays,” doing something instead of asking if you can “do anything,” taking care of other people’s loved ones, making plans for next year and making sure that you’re taking time to process your own feelings as well.
“Almost everyone knows someone who’s died, some in our own families,” Sandberg says. “It’s such a great time for people to really think about how to show up for each other.”
source: people.com
