In the third episode of HBO ’s Watchmen series , Laurie Blake aka Silk Spectre pulls out a mammoth galvanising blue dildo . It ’s an obvious sight gag — her ex-wife is a blue military man who can control his size , aright down to the most cozy tier . That said , it does raise some questions . Like , how would the “ Electromagnetic Lithium Powered Excalibur ” even work ? Would a 13 by 4 - inch vibrator even be enjoyable ? What kind of parts are we search at here ? Did HBO have sex up in the construction of their fucking toy ?
As io9 observe sooner this week , the blueprints for the electric puritanic curiosity are available at HBO ’s Peteypedia . Perusing it is a minefield of discovery . This thing has Faraday shielding and electromagnetic trigger nodes . It ’s also got two lithium transducers and shitty battery liveliness despite have two removable batteries . ( A handwritten note on the design remarks that the “ size & vibratory FX lead to atrophied duration … recharge nightly . ” ) Another note remarks that a gum elastic sheath go bad in a self - test , and that the gadget should be seethe between uses .
Um . There ’s a lot to unpack here .
PSA: DON’T BOIL MOTORIZED VIBRATORS. Is there even a pot big enough for this thing?Image: HBO
First off , I get this is a piece of fiction and some producers probably did minimal inquiry and then slap a clump of aperient - sounding words together in a rough schematic . Nevertheless , you ca n’t carry a bunch of widget swot to look at this affair and not adjudicate to horn in hollow .
https://gizmodo.com/these-are-the-exact-dimensions-of-watchmens-doctor-manh-1840157418
The inside of the Excalibur don’t … really resemble a typical stamp battery - power vibrator . Asimple vibrator designgenerally consists of a circuit circuit card , touch for the electric battery , barrage case , and a small motor with a small cylinder on top . That piston chamber is confiscate unsymmetrically so when the motor gets snuff it , that demented piston chamber nonplus you that vibrate whiz .
Gif: (HBO)
“ vibrator are really , really bare . It ’s just an unbalanced motor , ” Lux Alptraum , a sexual practice tech author for OneZero who has also consulted on building sex toys , told Gizmodo over the earpiece . “ That blueprint was kind of funny because it seems like it ’s judge to make it out to be mellow technical school , but even the most super gamey tech vibrator we have are fundamentally an disturbed motor . ”
“ The complexity of most vibrators is insanely uncomplicated , ” Lora Haddock DiCarlo , the founder and CEO of Osé , an innovative sex toy that cause abit of a ruckus at this twelvemonth ’s CES , told Gizmodo over email . “ Generally , there are one function machines check a counterweight motor , power supplying , electrical wiring , simple circuit board and firmware , and a rudimentary U / I. Most of these products have 20 - 50 parting totality . ”
Looking at the Excalibur , it ’s not immediately clean what the vibrate constituent is . There would come along to be no motor . Technically transducers can vibrate , but when I asked Gizmodo ’s very own science newsman Ryan Mandelbaum , they said it was n’t clear why lithium was involved . Subharmonic resonators also do n’t quite make horse sense as that bring up to frequence , and subharmonic oscillations are not physical vibrations you’re able to get off on . The Excalibur does have a “ strigiform counterweight . ”Strigiformmeans “ pertaining to owl ” and this blueprint was purportedly crafted by Dan Dreiberg — known as Nite Owl in the Watchmen creation . So I ’ll lease you infer the weird psychosexual musical theme of a dude putting in a counterweight that refers to himself into a vibrator based on his ex - girl ’s more famous ex-husband .
“ This design is amazing , ” says DiCarlo . “ They ’ve literally taken the most fundamental applied science that I could cut up together in my service department — a counterweight motor you’re able to find in any simple vibration auto — and paired it with technical school that is so advanced most human beings can scarcely grasp it yet . And of course , just to check that it is never compromised , they envelop it in a diminutive Faraday cage ! All they necessitate to complete this is to add a flux capacitor . ”
So factual science and vibrator 101 do n’t exactly support the Excalibur ’s existence as a practicable , viable appliance . Or if it is somehow workable , the Excalibur is definitely over - orchestrate . DiCarlo told Gizmodo that while the design contains tech that most people can barely wrap their heads around , the overall structure is “ strikingly simple . ” Yet this is clearly a limited vibrator and is cite that in the comics , Laurie likens licking Doctor Manhattan ’s digit to “ work a flashlight battery . ” That would imply this thing yield you a minute of an electric buzz buzz in your giblet — again , a product family that already exists .
Erotic electrostimulationis a matter and is often referred to as electroplay , electrosex , or east - stim . And while there are e - stim vibrators , most are in the form of extraneous sexual practice toys like nipple clamps . That ’s because you tend to ascertain them in the BDSM sections of sex activity website . And assume Laurie is into that stuff — no kinkshaming — it still does n’t explain why things like subharmonic resonator , Li transducers , or faraday cage are needed when … the category already exists without that .
The Excalibur has several other design problems too . protrude with the 13 by 4 - inch size of it . Yes , haha , Doctor Manhattan is hung . Except when you take into circumstance the actual sizing of that thing and the fact that in screenshots , Laurie ca n’t even conform to her full hand around the shaft .
“ A penis that would generally be study fatheaded is about two in in diam , and that ’s about six column inch in circumference , ” Alptraum told Gizmodo over the telephone . “ you’re able to get a clenched fist into a vagina , which is probably around four to five inches in diameter , I estimate , but it takes a good deal of work and [ the Excalibur ] does not await like a matter you warm up to . It ’s presented as like , ‘ Oh yeah , you just insert it . ’ ”
Alptraum went on to explain that 13 - inch toys are broadly dimensions you ’re more probable to see for anal retentive play , but even then , the Excalibur would be considered an “ extreme anal toy . ” For linguistic context , DiCarlo told Gizmodo that found on Osé ’s product inquiry , most masses with vaginas prefer toys measuring 7.2 in .
So , basically , Laurie is fisting herself with a 13 - inch electrodick . Again , no judgment , except the goddamned matter could have been designed in a much more sympathetic way . For fledgling , the Excalibur has been liken to a Jeff Koons sculpture , partly because it ’s so burnished , partly because it ’s just a straightforward , 13 - column inch vibrator with zero curves . Alptraum orient out straight vibrators are n’t nearly as enjoyable because they do n’t lead vibrations as well as their curvier opposite number because they do n’t provide a fate of touch points to the body . That makes sense as well , the human body has curves and requires whippy cloth . Softer , curvier sexual urge miniature are also easier to match into the body .
“ If you await at the iteration in toy that have become more popular and are considered more advanced , you do n’t see a ton of straight arduous thing , ” Alptraum noted .
So , what would a more attentive Doctor Manhattan vibrator look like ? You cognize , one that HBO whole miss the boat on making and sell as a crosstie - in gag endowment ?
“ I would like to envisage that their Big Blue would be a pace ahead of current tech abilities by using soft robotics or visible radiation command polymer , ” says DiCarlo . “ Soft robotics is the next step in biological drift apery , engage the ability to morph into other shapes using electrical , chemic , or thermal actuators . ”
“ I think there was a missed opportunity with grain because Doctor Manhattan has those marking on his consistence , ” tally Alptraum . “ I think it would be kind of cool to do something that had grading carved into it or advance markings because the erogenous zones often respond really well to different texture , particularly somewhere like the G - billet . ”
Who ’s to say what Laurie ’s demand are ? But for the rest of us , this is a monstrosity .
Update , 2025-02-16 , 12:44pm : Added clarification re : a straight vibrator ’s ability deal vibrations .
Comic Book ShowsvibratorsWarner Bros.
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